Pretty In Pink, Ain't What You Think!
by Super Chino
Summary: One sober Seth. One drunk Ryan. One night of hilarious events!


I now accept annonymous reviews so let me know what you think! I wrote this story as a challenge among writing friends! LOL! I'm also a fan of the drunken Ryan stories...so this is sort of my hand on one! Enjoy!   
  
Pretty in Pink Ain't What You Think!  
  
Tugging Ryan in the right direction, Seth walked him out of the bathroom and leaned him against the hallway wall.  
  
"There ya go. Feel better buddy? Just how many shots did you throw back tonight?"  
  
Grimacing his face defiantly, "I didn't hit anybody!"  
  
"Okay then. What to do with you? How about we get you to your bed and you can just sleep it off? Doesn't that sound good?" Negotiating with a drunken person turned out to be much harder than Seth expected.  
  
"I don't want to go to bed. I wanna dance."  
  
With every ounce of restraint he could muster, Seth held back exploding with laughter in Ryan's face. "Dude now I know you are entirely wasted! You don't dance Ryan!"  
  
Furling his eyebrows, Ryan tried hard to focus on Seth's face. "You don't dance? That's a shame!"  
  
"No no. I dance. I definitely dance. You, my friend, do not dance."  
  
Focusing on Seth's lips, "That's what I said, you don't dance," Ryan countered, frustrated.  
  
"Ryan! YOU are the one that doesn't dance! I dance and I know you know I dance but you don't dance and you know that! Oh my God I sound as drunk as you do!"  
  
"Why? Did you hit somebody?"  
  
"Yeah okay. We're done talking. You're confusing me and I'm the sober one!"  
  
The sound of car approaching the house followed by headlights on the wall signaled Sandy and Kirsten's return home.  
  
"Oh Ry, this is bad! Can you run?"  
  
"Not a problem." Pushing Seth's hands aside Ryan stepped away from the wall and immediately started to fall down. Seth grabbed him by the shirt and threw him back up against the wall. This move did not sit well with Ryan.  
  
"You want a piece of me? I'm a tough guy! I could take your head off!" Throwing a fist in Seth's direction, Ryan practically spun himself into the floor. Once again Seth grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall to keep him from falling. Ryan did his best to keep an intimidating look on his face.  
  
Truly in panic mode now, Seth was frantically considering his options. "Easy buddy. We're brothers remember? We don't fight each other." Voices could be heard just outside the front door. With his heart racing a mile a minute, Seth bent over, grabbed Ryan around the legs and threw him over his shoulder.  
  
"Where are we going?" Ryan protested.  
  
"The back staircase."  
  
"Go to the kitchen. There's more to do there and there's a radio."  
  
"Ryan, have I ever mentioned that your muscles make you heavy?"  
  
"Muscles aren't heavy. People are heavy."  
  
"Right. Let's go back to not talking."   
  
Reaching the top of the stairs, Seth tripped on the top stair, fell down and sent Ryan sprawling across the floor. Seth was amazed that Ryan could still pull off his glare of doom, even as drunk as he was.  
  
"Sorry buddy."  
  
Ryan just lay on the floor, rubbing the back of his head where it made contact with the wall.  
  
"Seth? Ryan? You guys all right? What was that noise?" Kirsten called from somewhere downstairs. The fact that Seth couldn't tell how close she was to the staircase made him a nervous wreck all over again.  
  
"We're fine, I just tripped on the stairs on my way up. We're fine." Jumping to his feet, Seth grabbed Ryan's hand and dragged him like a sack of dirty laundry down the hallway to his room. Once Ryan had crossed the threshold, Seth slammed his bedroom door.  
  
"I'm not a carnival ride you know. You can stop pulling on me now," Ryan complained. Clearly disgusted with Seth's method of handling the situation.  
  
"What are we going to do with you? You weren't even supposed to leave the house and not only did you leave, you're drunk as a skunk! It's only a matter of time before they head up to bed. Oh this is bad!"  
  
Out of the blue, there was a knock on his bedroom door, "Seth? You sure you're okay? That sounded like a bad fall."  
  
"Oh my God it's the Kirsten!" Turning around and looking at the floor, Seth discovered Ryan had somehow gotten to his feet and was standing right behind him, wobbling.  
  
"Seth I'm coming in," his mother warned.  
  
Seth jumped around like a chicken with its head cut off before grabbing Ryan, again, and shoving him in the closet with a loud crash, just as Kirsten entered the room.  
  
"Now what was that noise?"  
  
"Oh I was trying to straighten up those boxes in my closet. I guess they fell over again. I'll fix it later."  
  
"And where is Ryan?"  
  
"Who? Oh Ryan! Right. Didn't you pass him? He just went down to the kitchen to get some snacks for us."  
  
"Oh. Maybe he went down the other staircase. Okay as long as you're all right. Your Dad and I are going to sit outside for a bit. It's such a nice evening."  
  
"That sounds nauseatingly romantic mom."  
  
On that note, Kirsten said goodnight and headed back downstairs. Once Seth knew she was a safe distance away, he grabbed hold of the knob to the closet door. Wincing, "He is so not going to be happy with me." Gingerly he opened the door to find Ryan sitting on the floor covered in clothes and hangers. If looks could kill, Seth would have been dead by now. "Sorry...again. Really, it was in your best interest." After detangling Ryan from the closet, Seth sat him down on the bed.  
  
"I'm hot." Ryan complained, wrestling to take his shirt off.  
  
"Okay buddy, that's enough. Leave the rest on and we'll turn on the fan for you. There. How's that? I'm going to go see if my parents are outside yet. We gotta get you out the front door and when they go to bed, we'll get you back to the pool house. Stay right there." Figuring Ryan wasn't going anywhere without help, Seth left him on the bed and went to scope out his parents whereabouts.  
  
"Okay Ryan, it's time. They're outsi..." Standing in front of the oscillating fan was Ryan. Completely naked and swaying back and forth in an attempt to follow the fan and keep the cool air blowing on him.  
  
"Good...Lord! What are you doing?"  
  
"I told you, I'm hot. I like the fan."  
  
"Words can't even begin to explain how grossed out I am right now Ryan. You need a robe. Where is my robe? Oh I think I left it in the bathroom." Closing his bedroom door, Seth took off again in search of his robe. Unfortunately, it didn't turn up in the bathroom either. "Darn it! Rosie must have it in the wash!" Bolting back down the hallway, he turned the corner toward his room and ran smack into Kirsten. "MOM! What are you doing...inside? I thought all the romance is outside."  
  
"Oh it is, I just wanted to get my shawl from my room. Good night Seth."  
  
"Right, the shawl. Yes. Also very romantic."  
  
Kirsten gave Seth a confused look and continued on her way. Upon reaching his bedroom door, Seth's heart stopped. The door was wide open and worse yet, Ryan was nowhere in sight. "Ryan? RYAN?" he whispered, frantically checking every nook and cranny in his room. "Oh this is bad! He's drunk! He's naked! And now he's missing!"  
  
Sprinting to a window that allowed him a view of the back yard, there he found his parents, snuggled on a lounge chair, sipping wine and having a gay old time. Meanwhile, the corner of his eye caught some movement. To his horror, the kitchen window revealed naked Ryan staggering from cabinet to cabinet. Seth watched as Ryan grabbed a box of cereal from the cabinet, lost his balance and fell down, sending kernels of cereal flying through the air.  
  
"Oh my God!" Proclaiming his disbelief, Seth sprinted for the front staircase and made his way to the kitchen in record time. His horror went unrelieved as the kitchen failed to contain the drunk, naked Ryan. All that was left was the open cabinet door and hundreds of Corn Pops laying literally everywhere! Stealing a look out the kitchen door, his parents were still engrossed in their romantic evening. That was good. At least that meant that Ryan was still in the house. Surely his parents would have nabbed him had he wandered out there, naked and drunk. But, where is he then? Seth turned the downstairs inside out and failed to produce Ryan. "How far could he possibly have gone? He can barely stand up!" he thought to himself. Dashing back upstairs he noticed he was starting to check in some really strange places for Ryan...like the linen closet. He had checked everywhere except his parents room and he was starting to feel uneasy about it.  
  
"Ryan? Ry? You in here?" He was encouraged to hear movement in the room even though he wasn't sure where it came from. He checked under the bed and in the walk in closet. Still no Ryan. "All right buddy. That's it. You're in big trouble. Get out here!" Standing with his hands on his hips he watched Ryan exit his parents bathroom, staggering. His mouth dropped open to find Ryan wearing his Mom's pink flowered bathrobe and snacking from what was left in the box of Corn Pops. "You have got to be kidding me."  
  
"What?" Ryan muttered through a mouthful of cereal. "What's wrong? You said I needed a robe I found one."  
  
Giving Ryan a once over Seth nodded to acknowledge that the tangled twisted mess covering his body was indeed, supposed to be a robe. Seth couldn't even figure out how he got it to stay on that way.  
  
"Okay buddy. Snack time is over. It's time for bed." This time Ryan didn't fight him. His eyes were crossing and his eyelids felt heavy. He let Seth maneuver him back to Seth's bedroom. Gesturing to the oscillating fan as he passed it.  
  
"Yes...yes...we'll leave the fan on as long as you stay in the bed. And promise me you will leave that...robe...on."  
  
Laying Ryan down proved to be the last task of the night. In less than five minutes Ryan was completely out cold. Turning out the lights, Seth lay down on the opposite side of the bed, laughing out loud to himself over the evening's events. He was going to hold this over Ryan's head for a long time.  
  
"Morning Seth. Time to..." Kirsten's words escaped her as she gawked at her two sons sleeping in Seth's bed.  
  
"Morning...Mom" Seth still dressed in yesterday's clothes tried to pass off Ryan in his bed as if it were a normal occurrence.  
  
"Ryan slept here last night?"  
  
"Oh yeah. We were listening to music and it got to be really late and he fell asleep so I just left him there."  
  
All the talking caused Ryan to start stirring. Turning over he found Kirsten looking at him quizzically with her arms folded while Seth had his usual look of panic on his face. His mind wandered in fifty different directions trying to remember just how he ended up in Seth's bed in the first place. For the life of him, he couldn't remember a thing.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you boys had a nice evening. Breakfast in ten minutes." She paused as she reached the doorway, "Oh boys, one more thing. Why is Ryan wearing my robe?" 


End file.
